I hate to tell you this, but your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t perfect. They are going to forget important dates, they’re going to do things that upset you, they won’t understand everything about you, and they might even do some things that hurt you. Unfortunately, no matter how many romantic comedies we watch or love stories we read, it’s highly unlikely to have a perfect whirlwind romance in real life. But lots of us find this extremely upsetting, to the point where we either discard of them at the first little slip up, or call off trying to be in a relationship altogether. We have to understand that we are all human, therefore flawed. So when our humanity causes us to stumble, here’s my best advice for how to prepare for it, and deal with the situation when it comes.
Have Reasonable Expectations
This is something that usually ruffles the feathers of those with high expectations, who are constantly told by society that they are unfair, and they should lower their expectations to make it easier to please them. That’s not what I’m saying. I am a high maintenance person myself, I think it’s a good thing to know what your standards are and to stand firm on them. It’s what makes you feel valued and respected and you shouldn’t have to settle. However, it is best to keep in mind that not everyone can meet your expectations.
Of course, we expect everyone we accept into our lives to be decent human beings, but we all receive love and express differently. We each have love languages and personal experiences that shape our needs. It’s important to remember that you can’t please everyone, and not everyone will please you. It’s also important to understand that we all have different understandings of right and wrong, based on upbringing or the life experiences we go through. It’s all about learning how to respect people’s differences, and being open and accommodating to each other’s individuality.
It’s very important for us in any relationship to be forgiving and understanding of when they make a mistake. The last thing you want to do is hold the mistakes they make against them. That is not only hypocritical, but also damaging to the trust of your partner. Not only does kind of unfairness put a damper on your relationship, it also opens up an opportunity for your partner to treat you with the same unfairness. We are all imperfect. The last thing we should be doing is holding it against each other, especially in relationships. So when our loved ones do something that hurts the relationship, please try to forgive them. You can be upset with them, of course, your emotions are valid. But to hold it against them, and always bring it back up when they’re trying to move on is going to damage your view of them and tarnish any potential to have a healthy relationship.
You can’t stop loving someone for being human. Unfortunately, we are not perfect, and we can’t expect that from each other. I know relationships are hard, and we have the ideals that someone who loves us would never hurt us, not even by accident. But sadly they will, and you have to forgive them and be patient in order to be successful in your relationships.